A few weeks ago, I stopped by a store I visit often. Usually, this place is buzzing with friendly, helpful staff from the moment you walk in to the moment you check out. But that day, it felt…off.
No one greeted me when I entered. No smile, no eye contact, not even a quick “hello” at the register. It felt like I was being met with total indifference, and within seconds, I started forming a negative story about the experience. That’s the power of a first impression.
Then something shifted. The cashier smiled warmly and gave me some personal advice about the item I purchased. That one simple moment was enough to reframe the entire interaction. It reminded me how quickly we form judgements—and how much impact even a small moment can have in shaping them. As a coach at The Humphrey Group, I see this dynamic play out with leaders all the time: how they show up in the first few seconds can open or close the door to real connection.
This simple example demonstrates that how we show up matters. And it’s not just the case in retail, but in every interaction, especially as leaders and communicators. In this way, first impressions are really about the mindset that we have as we approach an interaction. The best part? We can always change the story.
We live in a world that is becoming ever more saturated with distractions. As a result, making a strong first impression has never felt more important – or challenging.
According to researcher Gloria Mark, our average attention span has dropped from two minutes to just 47 seconds. That’s not a lot of time to earn someone’s focus, never mind build their trust or spark a real connection.
When we treat first impressions as a high-stakes performance that must be packed into the first few seconds, we end up missing the point. Yes, beginnings matter. But cramming everything into a 47-second window is an uphill battle.
Instead, when we approach first impressions with an intentional mindset, we can show up with presence and awareness throughout the conversation. That means being ready to connect from the very beginning, but also giving yourself room to breathe, adapt, and deepen the impression as you go.
So how do you make a great first impression without the pressure?
The most powerful openings aren’t about dazzling your audience, they’re about connecting with them. That connection begins before you even speak. When you step into a room, virtual or otherwise, ask yourself: What does this group need? Your job isn’t to impress them. It’s to meet them where they are to facilitate building something together.
This is where cognitive priming comes into play. Our brains are wired to latch onto initial cues and use them to shape expectations. If your tone, energy, and first few words create a sense of warmth, clarity, or curiosity, the audience is more likely to stay with you.
You don’t need to have all the answers right away, but you do need to show that you’re engaged. That might mean acknowledging the energy in the room, sharing a brief anecdote, or inviting interaction early on. In this way, a first impression isn’t just something you create—it’s something you build together with your audience.
This is a key principle in our training: a strong opening isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence.
Yes, presence matters. But in today’s battle for attention, having a plan is just as crucial. The Leader’s Script isn’t just about helping you show up, it ensures you take your audience where they want to go.
Knowing what you’re there to deliver and why it matters keeps you grounded and responsive. It’s not about rigidly sticking to a script but about anchoring yourself in purpose. The Script helps you clarify your core message, set the right tone, and design an opening that draws people in.
Starting with a plan gives you the freedom to show up fully, and to adapt in the moment as needed.
We often treat first impressions as the whole story, but how an interaction ends can leave just as lasting of an impact. The final moments of a presentation are your chance to reinforce what matters, invite continued engagement, and leave people feeling inspired, clear, or even just appreciated.
Whether it’s a simple “thank you,” a thoughtful summary, or an invitation to continue the conversation, these closing moments help people walk away with something they’ll remember.
And remember, it’s not just the speaker who shapes the tone. Everyone plays a role in creating meaningful impressions. From participating in the chat to being an active, engaged listener, impressions are made in more ways than we think. You don’t have to be the speaker to make an impact.
Yes, first impressions matter, but not in the rigid, high-pressure way we often imagine. You don’t have to cram everything into 47 dazzling seconds.
Show up with intention, stay connected to your message and your audience, and trust that your presence carries weight from start to finish. When you approach the concept of a first impression as something that evolves, you give yourself permission to be fully present, fully prepared, fully you.
As simple as it sounds, just like my experience in the store that day, the story we tell ourselves about an interaction can shift with even a small gesture. We have the power to shape and reshape so-called first impressions by how we choose to show up throughout the entirety of an interaction.
Want to keep exploring?
If this post got you thinking about how presence shapes first impressions, you’ll love Ash Kay’s other piece: Executive Presence Redefined: The Power of Presence. It takes a fresh look at what executive presence really means—and how you can show up with confidence, clarity, and authenticity.