All our working relationships tend to focus on WHAT we want to do together -- what deals to close, what processes to improve, what products to build -- yet we invest comparatively little time in HOW to do that work together. In his new book the incomparable Michael Bungay Stanier argues we're doing it all wrong, and should instead focus on the foundations of working relationships. In a far ranging discussion with Bart, Michael explains that every relationship may not be perfect, but they are always worth pushing for the best possible version that you can have. Using a "keystone conversation" concept Michael explains how to begin the discussion so you can have safe, vital and repairable relationships.
Pre-order Michael's latest book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone here.
00:21 Show Introduction
00:58 Introducing Michael
01:12 1.2Million in sales of The Coaching Habit
01:29 What is it like to sell a million+ copies of a book?
02:33 Introducing the new book
02:57 What led you to write this new book?
03:04 Work gets done through people
03:50 Social contracting
04:56 Asking the question: What will help us work well together?
05:18 Why don't people have these conversations?
05:40 The urgency of work
06:22 Not many role models to look to
07:25 Bart talks about why he thinks people don't do these conversations
08:46 Who do you have these conversations with?
09:32 Start with key relationships
12:25 Don't be stupid and open up too much at the wrong times
12:36 Good giving and bad giving
13:05 Calibrate the conversations based on the context
13:55 The bad relationships
15:07 Idealism v pragmatism
15:38 Working through how to do it - example of new job
16:29 The Keystone conversation
16:50 5 Questions that help
17:06 The amplify question
17:25 What are your practices and preferences
19:34 The bad date and good date questions
21:41 How do we repair this when it goes wrong?
22:59 How do you think this podcast is going?
25:12 What needs to be said, that hasn't already been said?
28:13 Parting ways gracefully
29:04 How to adapt these conversations to larger organizations
30:22 Is it worth having this conversation?
30:44 Passive resistance is the hardest thing to manage
32:10 What needs to be true for this to be real?
38:00 How to use these techniques upwards with your manager
40:09 GenZ retention issues
40:53 Thank yous
41:11 How to find out more about this
