How to Work With (Almost) Anyone with Michael Bungay Stanier

By: Bart Egnal

All our working relationships tend to focus on WHAT we want to do together -- what deals to close, what processes to improve, what products to build -- yet we invest comparatively little time in HOW to do that work together. In his new book the incomparable Michael Bungay Stanier argues we're doing it all wrong, and should instead focus on the foundations of working relationships. In a far ranging discussion with Bart, Michael explains that every relationship may not be perfect, but they are always worth pushing for the best possible version that you can have. Using a "keystone conversation" concept Michael explains how to begin the discussion so you can have safe, vital and repairable relationships.

Pre-order Michael's latest book, How to Work with (Almost) Anyone here.

00:21 Show Introduction

00:58 Introducing Michael

01:12 1.2Million in sales of The Coaching Habit

01:29 What is it like to sell a million+ copies of a book?

02:33 Introducing the new book

02:57 What led you to write this new book?

03:04 Work gets done through people

03:50 Social contracting

04:56 Asking the question: What will help us work well together?

05:18 Why don't people have these conversations?

05:40 The urgency of work

06:22 Not many role models to look to

07:25 Bart talks about why he thinks people don't do these conversations

08:46 Who do you have these conversations with?

09:32 Start with key relationships

12:25 Don't be stupid and open up too much at the wrong times

12:36 Good giving and bad giving

13:05 Calibrate the conversations based on the context

13:55 The bad relationships

15:07 Idealism v pragmatism

15:38 Working through how to do it - example of new job

16:29 The Keystone conversation

16:50 5 Questions that help

17:06 The amplify question

17:25 What are your practices and preferences

19:34 The bad date and good date questions

21:41 How do we repair this when it goes wrong?

22:59 How do you think this podcast is going?

25:12 What needs to be said, that hasn't already been said?

28:13 Parting ways gracefully

29:04 How to adapt these conversations to larger organizations

30:22 Is it worth having this conversation?

30:44 Passive resistance is the hardest thing to manage

32:10 What needs to be true for this to be real?

38:00 How to use these techniques upwards with your manager

40:09 GenZ retention issues

40:53 Thank yous

41:11 How to find out more about this