Presence, Identity, and the Way Leaders Show Up

I grew up around music, and it has always been an important part of my life. I started teaching voice when I was fifteen, and before long I was leading choirs and building vocal programs. I was also deeply rooted in my spiritual community, where I naturally found myself stepping into leadership roles from a young age. Between music and community, standing in front of people, guiding groups, helping others find their voice became second nature to me before I ever really thought of it as “leadership.”

Singing taught me a lot about presence. You learn quickly that performing isn’t about trying to impress people. It’s about being grounded, letting go of nerves, and focusing on the message you’re there to share. When you are connected to what you are saying, people feel it. They get it.

That understanding stayed with me as my career evolved. I moved into broadcast and communication roles, including work with QVC, where presence really matters! In roles like that, you are constantly aware of your audience, adjusting in real time, and finding ways to communicate that feel natural and never rehearsed.

Looking back, I see that communication has been the common thread in my work. Whether I was teaching, performing, serving in my community, or working in professional environments, I center myself with the same question: how do you show up genuinely in a way that connects?

Presence Begins with Identity

As my career progressed, I went through a series of professional and personal transitions. Changes in roles and environments, along with stepping away from communities where I had long held visible leadership positions, created space to reflect in new ways. Later, navigating profound personal loss further reshaped how I thought about identity and purpose.

Taken together, these experiences prompted me to look more closely at who I was beyond my roles and responsibilities. I noticed how uncertainty shows up in communication. When people aren’t grounded in who they are, it’s harder to be present, authentic, and clear. Real presence comes from knowing who you are beneath the surface; when that sense of identity feels uncertain, it shows up in how you communicate, in subtle and not so subtle ways.

What Leaders Often Miss About How They Show Up

That understanding shaped how I began working with leaders. In coaching, I often see highly capable people who are doing all the right things on paper, yet something isn’t landing. They prepare carefully for presentations and meetings, but are unaware of how they come across in everyday interactions.

I once worked with a senior executive who was widely respected for her results. In formal settings, she was polished and persuasive. But in informal conversations, like hallway exchanges or quick check-ins, she became guarded and tense. Without realizing it, she was sending mixed signals. People sensed the disconnect, and it quietly undermined her influence.

What she needed wasn’t more technique. She needed greater awareness of herself and how her internal state was showing up externally.

This is something I see again and again. Leaders don’t struggle because they lack competence or ambition. They struggle because they haven’t slowed down enough to notice how their identity, emotions, and assumptions are shaping their presence in real time.

In our work at The Humphrey Group, this is where I tend to focus on the learnings within our Speaking as a Leader program to help leaders become more aware of how they show up. Presence is at the heart of it. When leaders are grounded in who they are, they’re able to respond rather than react.

In coaching, we go deeper than surface behaviors. We pay attention to tone, body language, facial expressions, and the subtle cues that people often miss. Awareness is the starting point. Once leaders can see what they’re doing, they can make intentional choices about how they lead.

Building Presence Through Awareness

In Speaking as a Leader, we help leaders strengthen presence by getting clear on three fundamentals: what they think, what they feel, and what their intentions are.

It starts with clarity of thinking. Before any conversation or meeting, ask yourself: what’s my core message? What do I want the other person to understand or do? When leaders aren’t clear internally, that shows up in their communication.

Next is emotional awareness. Many leaders underestimate how much their internal state affects how they come across. Noticing what you’re feeling, like frustration, apathy or even urgency, gives you the ability to regulate.

Finally, we focus on intention. How do you want to show up in this moment? Calm and confident? Curious and open? Direct and decisive? When leaders name their intention ahead of time, they’re far more likely to communicate in a way that aligns with it.

From there, presence becomes something you practice in everyday moments:

• Notice your posture, facial expression, and tone.
• Pay attention to whether your words match your energy.
• Slow down enough to truly listen before responding.
• Check in about whether what you intend is actually what others are experiencing.

This is about becoming more aware. When leaders build this awareness, they close the gap between who they are on the inside and how they show up on the outside, which is where authentic presence lives.

Try this Before your Next Conversation or Meeting

Before you walk into your next interaction, take two minutes to pause and reflect:

• What’s the one thing you want the other person to understand or take away?
• What are you feeling right now, and how might that show up in your tone or body language?
• How do you want to show up in this moment — calm, curious, direct, supportive?

Then, during the conversation:

• Notice your posture and facial expression.
• Pay attention to whether your energy matches your words.
• Slow down enough to really listen before responding.

Leadership Happens in Everyday Moments

Leadership is about how you show up in all kinds of contexts, in how you listen, and in the smallest signals you unconsciously send. When you take time to understand who you are and become more intentional about how you show up, you communicate with greater clarity, consistency and power.

Ready to strengthen your leadership presence? Our Speaking as a Leader learning experience helps leaders communicate with clarity, confidence, and authenticity — from high-stakes presentations to everyday conversations.